Thursday, March 27, 2014

Zip It, Lock It, Put It In Your Pocket

The little old ladies and grandmas were right. 
I didn't believe them, of course, because I was mired in a sea of diapers, potty training, spills, laundry etc. 
It's hard to see a light at the end of that tunnel when you are in the midst of it.

those wise older ladies said to cherish it because it would go fast. 
You wouldn't think with all the pressures of being a young mom that it would go fast as it did but it goes faster than you can imagine.

The truth is, I did cherish it. 
I stayed home with my preschoolers knowing that those years were fleeting. 
The grade levels sped by when they were in elementary school. Jr. high and high school went even faster.

The problems back then were fairly simple ones. Not always but many of the woes and worries of those days were easy to fix.

As a mom I could fix them or at least most of them. 
That is one of the struggles and balancing acts of being the parent of adults. The desire to step in and fix doesn't go away just because your child has reached the milestone of majority.

Their problems are adult problems and for the most part there is nothing you can do to help "fix" except pray, listen and advise when asked
We have a saying at school. 
Actually it is Mrs. Bentley's saying but it works for getting the class quiet and it's become the trademark motto for dealing with our adults. 
"Zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket."
The time to teach and train our children doesn't end as far as the modeling we do as parents. That endures for a lifetime but the time to verbally train and teach has a beginning and an end. 
How many of us like unsolicited advice?

I don't and my kids don't.
We had 18 (or 22) years to instruct our children in the majority of the life lessons that they would need as adults. 
That is a long time in spite of the fact that is seems like a minute. Harping on the same issues and principles at some point goes in one ear and out another.  
So we listen and support as necessary without telling our kids what to do because it's their life-it's their life lessons, experiences and path.

I wasn't a helicopter mom but the desire to go all "black hawk down" rises up every once in a while. I can't and it wouldn't be appropriate to do so.

I rest in the knowledge that while we weren't perfect parents (by any means,) we've raised smart, self sufficient, independent children. 
They can do the "mission impossible" themselves. 
I just needed to remind myself of that this week. 


  1. What a lovely post and lovely family.....We all have challenges in life and that's what keeps us going...Thanks for the inspiration!

  2. Good one and interesting to ready...

  3. Wise words indeed! My mantra these days is "Let it go." I try to give advise to our grown daughters only when they ask.....I said I try. Sometimes I fail, but I'm only human, right? The years go by way too fast, don't they?