Friday, November 18, 2016

That Time I Became A Doom's Day Prepper

Needless to say this election cycle has been more than difficult. 
I spent about two weeks watching Hallmark Channel and Poldark in attempt to escape the bad news. 
Bill watched Poldark with me but, bless his heart, he decided that it was going to be a looooong Christmas movie season. 
He attempted to discern the plot of one movie and I gave him a look that is now seared into his sub-conscience. 
Doesn't he know that all Hallmark movies have the same plot? That's why they are perfect for not thinking. 
He put on his big boy pants and dealt with it the best way he knows how. The sci-fi channel is now playing on the television upstairs. 
(She shivers) 
I don't know about you but I was traumatized watching Star Trek as a child. 
Five brothers and only one T.V. will do that to a girl. 
Sci-fi show are scarier to me than events that have taken place in real life. 

Back to my story. 

Texas, my adopted homeland, plays mean tricks on me during the fall. 
Every year I get some sort of stuffy nose and cough. 
This year was no exception and the day of the election, I lost my voice. 
My precious class mistook my whisper as an indication that I'd gone deaf. To compensate they began talking louder. After three hours, I was spent and my team sent me home for a nap. 
With pins and needles, I checked the election returns around 6:15. Polls had been closed 15 minutes so they should be calling the election soon. 
They had Clinton ahead in Florida with a scant 3% of the vote in. It was over. Hillary Clinton was out new president. 
I turned the T.V. off. 
Bill came home, we shared a late dinner and I debated Hallmark Channel, Hallmark Movies and Mysteries or the returns. 

With trepidation, the returns won out. 

Bill was being a channel hopper. (More of my looks are seared into his sub-conscience, by the way.) We were able to get a glimpse of what was happening on all channels. 
The utter shock and disbelief of the media was something to behold. 

After getting over the humor of it all, the magnitude by which the American people had be duped sunk in. The ramifications that the all "trusting", ever powerful media was deceived, manipulated or duplicitous was something to contemplate.  
When I wasn't checking Facebook or Twitter, I ruminated over what just happened. 
Were we living in some sort of George Orwellian dystopia? 
The idea that the media may have tried to propagate a winner sent me to YouTube. 

Cold medicine, YouTube and propaganda is not a good combination. 
Just ask Bill. This past weekend was one by which he will be forever traumatized. 

He spent the weekend reading C.S. Lewis to combat my growing gloom and doom. 

Here is the thing, if you watch one video, there is a long list of others on the side bar. 
There are some doozy theories floating around the w.w.w. which turned sideways is 333. 333 times 2 is 666. 
We all know that isn't good. 

Would you like a list of doomsday scenarios? 

Walmart is code for Martial Law and the closed stores are going to be FEMA camps. 
The government is tunneling underground. (I do hear strange things late at night.) Bill says it is fracking but what if fracking read backwards is something sinister? 
Obama is still planning on stealing the election and therefore will have a third term. Hillary was Obama's third term. We all know that if Obama gets a third term he is the "you know who".
Trump means trumpet and the coming of Jesus but it could also mean trump card. 
Planet X and its huge meteor belt is now in our orbit. It has thrown the weather all out of kilter. (I'm still wearing flip flops in November.) Obama knows that Planet X or Nibiru is headed this way and therefore we need all of the underground bunkers that I'm hearing being built. 

After three days of cold medicine and YouTube, I've decided to become a prepper. 
I'm just not very good at it. 
I have one case of water, plenty of rice and about 10 cans of soup. It should last us the length of 10 Hallmark movies if the coming electrical grid failure brought about by the Russians doesn't happen. 

The fog has lifted, my head is almost clear and I can once again be confident that no matter what the future holds, the God of the universe has it all under control. Bill is rejoicing. I'm rejoicing that he won't confiscate my laptop.  

Have a blessed day! 
Katie 

10 comments :

  1. Hang in there, Katie .... join those of us who are hanging....! Hope you feel better. I hate colds ... anytime of year.

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  2. You remind me of my mother so much! If you ever need a new friend or someone to talk to, I'm sure she'd be up for it. You can friend her on Facebook (Vonda Stauffer) or private message her. Just a suggestion. There's no harm in making new friends and we could all use someone to talk to sometimes.

    Ps- I enjoy following your blog and appreciate everything you post. It's always honest, informative, and interesting.

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  3. I switched to Disney Jr I'm June. I spent election night at the visitation for my cousin. We all agree God is in control no matter what our politics say. I came home & turned on Hallmark after a few minutes of returns. I've been watching Christmas movies since they started. I'm also reading many more books this year. Of course, it is nice that some stations have hours of the Golden Girls or Reba on certain days, either! No more flip flops in Texas, at least early in the morning for a few days. I'm hoping for a warm Thanksgiving. 15 great nephews & nieces who are able to make noise plus the grands & spouses add in a Cowboys football game. Well, I hope it warms up.

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  4. My husband watches politics non-stop. Even C-Span! I put the ear buds on and watch the same You Tube you've been watching! (snort-snort) You know, I think the whole world is a little crazy, make that a LOT crazy! I'm glad to know that God has a plan, and no matter what these crazy people do, He's in charge! Enjoyed your post!

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  5. I absolutely loved this! Your views are so humorous. We need humor...
    Brenda

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  6. Oh dear Katie ~ Your post was fantastic. A dose of humor, romance movies, and this statement of yours: "The fog has lifted, my head is almost clear and I can once again be confident that no matter what the future holds, the God of the universe has it all under control."

    Yes, oh yes, He has it all under control.

    Love and hugs and have a wonderful Thanksgiving week ~ FlowerLady

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  7. I always hate doomsday theories. They're all dumb as rocks. I remember the ol' Mayan 2012 thing. So many "experts" were out touting the gloom and doom. Telling me I was dumb for citing evidence and explaining why everyone doesn't under the "end' of the Mayan calendar.

    Though to be honest (except for nukes) we most likely won't see the end of the world. We only get to live on this early for maybe a hundred years, and out of billions of years we think this is in our lifetime?

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  8. At first I thought "oh no...another political rant" but as I read I laughed out loud. I give you kudos for not going too far over the fence either way. And a good laugh is just what we need these days as I've been sucked into the youtube abyss too!

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  9. Katie, this is hilarious! I too have experienced being sick mixed with medicines and/or insomnia. The thought process always goes awry...it's never a good thing. Hey if you like YouTube, there are fun fashion and makeup posts on there that I like to watch. :)

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  10. I laughed my head off when I read your blog post title! Back in 1999, I had the flu between Christmas and New Year's Eve. I used to work in the Children's Room in our local library back then. I had quit my job as an interior designer (couldn't take client's temper tantrums any more, it's just decorating silly) and decided to devote my life to children, storytelling and children's literature. Being around kids all the time now, I started catching all their viruses and the flu I came down with was the knock out kind. My husband David then caught it from me and we were both down for the count. The problem was, what was going to happen when 1999 became 2000? Would the power go out? Would we have running water??? I got out of my sick bed and did all the laundry. I managed to drag myself to the store and stock up on canned goods (something I tend not to use). I bought rice and beans and bottled water. Came home and started filling empty soda bottles with extra water. I was prepared that if a computer glitch hit the electric grid, David and I and Binkie (our Yorkie at the time) would be safe. Then I changed into pajamas, a robe, snow boots and a parka and watched the fireworks over downtown from our snowy front porch. David stayed inside and moaned. What I learned from the experience is that the media can make you crazy! You can loose all common sense and be sucked into the panic. We lived in Idaho at the time ~ prepper capital of the US. On January 1, 2000, we were still sick with the flu, but the power was on and all was just the same. Moral of this story ~ stick with the Hallmark movies and let the rest of the world go crazy ;-)

    Big Texas Hugs,
    Susan and Bentley

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