Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Change Is The Pits

I'm sorry. I feel like I've been a bad blogger. 
I've always been able to come up with new content in the midst of stuff going on but lately I'm struggling. 

I've been at my school for a total of 26 years. 
I know that life will go on after I retire but it's difficult thinking about all the "lasts".

This week we had the last Valentine's Day exchange and our last program. 

I know that I'm doing the right thing but it doesn't seem to make it easier. 
There's a bit of a grieving process going on. 

I don't care much for change but the change here was coming. There was no stopping it.  
Change makes me confront things that I cannot control. 
It causes a pain that can't be easily dismissed. 

It causes me to press in closer to God and He is pressing in closer to me. 

There is more to my story than just what has transpired in the last two decades. 
There is a tiny voice that says I'm not going to be useful or "of value".  
"Be quiet." 

So, what do you do when you are feeling a little blue? 

I get my hands dirty. 

I sprinkled a little cheer around the yard in the hope that the birth of spring will have a healing effect. 
The crisp and cool but sunny day was just about perfect. 

It's a little change that I can control.
Thanks for listening! 


  1. Hi Katie,
    I will be praying. I went thru a major change in 2012. I do understand what you are saying. It is not easy, it takes time.
    Sending a HUG!
    Love, Carla

  2. Katie,
    Continue to tell that little voice whispering doubts, "Be quiet." You are of value, and you are useful, just in a different way. Plus, the difference you made in all those students' lives continues to live on in them and all they come in contact with. Your reach does not stop when you retire, it lives on in each student and beyond them, to the ones they make a difference with. For without your teaching, they could not be what they are.

    The reach of a teacher is immeasurable.


  3. Katie, I hope that the garden helps you heal! I know that it does wonders for my soul. Change is not always easy, but greet the future with a positive attitude and all will be well! I truly believe this! Thanks for sharing with SYC.

  4. I can relate. I don't like change either. My husband went through similar feelings when he retired from the fire dept after 28 yrs of service. He missed it terribly and the brotherhood and routine of it. With time it got easier. It has almost been a year since he retired. The key is to stay busy afterwards. Redirect your energy into something else. You still need a "purpose" everyday.

  5. I think it's wonderful that you had a job that you'll miss. A lot of people can't wait to walk out the door.

  6. Change can be very hard to deal with, but Jesus will be your strength. He will lead you to other things to fill your life with meaning. Just rest in His tender, loving care.

    Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady

  7. Ah, Katie. I think it's ok to grieve. You will find meaning in your change; you'll still be useful just in a new way. It's ok if it takes you some time to discover what it is you're to do. God will be your strength. Hold on tight to Him.
    Gardening is good therapy. I either do that or paint. Hang in there, sweet lady.

  8. I had a few of those concerns when I retired a couple of years ago. It was a job I once loved (not anymore; the last two years were very stressful) but it was also a very public job and I was going to be a bit of a public figure to just a person. I'm here to tell you that if you let yourself, you will love retirement. You will love being able to choose the activities you are involved with simply because they are your passion, not connected to your work. If you choose to have them involve some of the things from your work, great. If not, also great. You'll find you have time to do things you maybe did before but not nearly the way you wanted to. You'll be able to dig in that garden, spend all afternoon making some complicated recipe (if you choose) or take a new class or whatever. What you do is up to you and that's profoundly liberating. I confess, it took awhile before I felt anything but sneaking away when I went to Trader Joe's on a Wednesday afternoon -- but it will pass.

    You will grieve. You will heal. And then you will choose.

  9. Katie, you are not alone...I think most people have similar feelings when they make a big change in life. I know when I had to stop my business, not by choice, but for my was very hard and I grieved it, too. Mostly I missed the creativity and friendships. I am still adapting to all the changes and where to go in my life. I love Jeanie's true...and it speaks to me as well. Keeping you in my prayers for peace and purpose...xoxo

  10. Katie, what a great adventure you are going to have once you retire. Do not be afraid. It is a blast. As far as feeling useful, I volunteer with a group that helps children in need. There are so many and I know that your kind heart could be a wonderful helping hand. Find a group that you admire and lend a hand. Not only will you be helping children but you will form new friendships with wonderful people who have the same heart. Enjoy your retirement. You have earned it.

  11. Katie, I retired from a job I used to love over a year ago. I won't lie, there are times when I miss it, especially the people I had grown close to. But for the most part, I am enjoying myself and finding out more about myself then I ever have before. I can afford precious time to try something new and meet new people. Best wishes for a wonderful retirement from your school but not from life!! Enjoy all that comes next!