Monday, May 4, 2020

How Am I Doing?

How is everyone? 

I haven't blogged this week because life seems to be getting in the way. 
Bill and I are fine. 
We know of no one with the virus but we know many who are impacted with jobs and finances. 
I can see both sides of this issue. Our state is re-opening but Bill and I will not just jump right back out. We're taking a "wait and see" attitude about any increase in numbers. As of Friday, there were no documented cases in our zip code. That made me feel much better about grocery runs but I'm not ready to head to Walmart either.  I wasn't a Target girl even before a pandemic. :)

I have had a couple of bad dreams since this started. Once I was being chased by someone with the virus. Other dreams involved a lack of social distancing. In one, members of our old small group were trying to tempt me into stepping closer than 6 feet. Bizarre. 
I'm concerned about the long term effects of this, particularly on the children. Simple things like going to the grocery store involve added stress. This is on top of other stresses. 

I know several families going through very hard times that have nothing to do with Covid 19. 

I lost a former co-worker yesterday. I'm heartbroken for his wife and two children, both of whom were my students. He teased me mercilessly. He thought I was a complete computer illiterate.
 It didn't help that he had to show me the on/off switch on a new computer. Haha. 
He had a huge impact on our community yet we cannot grieve together. We seem to be grieving virtually, however. 
He was loved by so many people. 

Another sweet family suddenly lost their 5 year old service dog to a brain tumor. They not only lost a family pet but a faithful guard dog for their son with autism. So sad. 

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

I don't know what God is doing but I know He is close to these broken hearted families.
They are moving forward with perseverance. 

I've lived with high anxiety most of my life. Anxiety, most often brought on by worry. 
I've worried about things that I can't do anything about. It's become clear to me in the last 6 weeks how often my mind wanders to problems that can't be fixed by me. I care for my loved ones and friends but worrying about their future doesn't bring about profit for anyone and it is harmful to me. 

The good old Serenity Prayer popped into my mind a few weeks ago. 
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can. 
The wisdom to know the difference." 

Very often my prayer wasn't really prayer. It was a pleading with God to act or move in a way that I thought best. 
I have no answers for this one. 
He seeks to move in my heart and in the hearts of mankind. 

Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,  whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. Philippians 4:6. 

I've had days where I've had to set thoughts aside, not only worry but news and information because it leads to worry. 
I've had to pray about concerns but then leave those concerns with Jesus. 
This is a roller coaster time. 
How are you handling it?
Thanks for all your sweet comments.

Bill and I put up crown molding in the kitchen this past weekend. It's so pretty

Sorry, the pictures have to be a little dark so you can see the molding.
Our kitchen is dark even on sunny days. 
I hope you are well. I'll be back with more pictures of the kitchen. 


  1. I really appreciate your honesty, Katie. I feel much the same as you. The molding is wonderful, you guys did a great job with it. really adds the finishing touch!

  2. This is my 3rd week of furlough after working 40+ hours weekly for 40 years. I an worried about all of my front-line colleagues and the stories are heart breaking(I hear stories most of you do not). My anxiety is up there too. I never in my life thought we would ever have this kind of impact on our daily lives. Luckily, we have remained well so far and I am thanking my preceptor in the OR for all the corrections about touching things. I pray for our country, our world, and everyone in it daily. We were "opened" in our county today - I will do nothing different until I see the impact. Stay safe and keep washing your hands.

    1. Thank you for your comment. Stay safe too. I'm sorry you were furloughed. You are right. I never thought we would see the day.

  3. I love Philippians 4:6. It's so appropriate for these times, whether one is religious or not. The molding in your kitchen looks lovely, by the way.

  4. Hi Katie,
    Sorry about your co worker. The molding is so pretty. Let's hope in the next month or so we will all see our lives starting to come back to some kind of normal. We are still Shelter in Place until the end of the month. Between the virus and our crazy below normal temps it is hard to stay sane. I want to start my flowers and plant but we are having below normal temps and it is too cold. So patience is the name of the game. Have a good week. Kris

  5. I'm so sorry about the loss of your co-worker, Katie. I do love the scripture verses that you've shared. I'm always reminded by a quote by St. Padre Pio..."Pray, Hope, and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer." I try to remind myself of this, but we take it upon ourselves to worry, don't we?

  6. Katie, I'm so very sorry about your friend's death. It is so hard to say goodbye. Just another heavy thing in a heavy time.

    I'm not ready to open up. We shelter in place till the 15th or 30th. I can't remember which and it doesn't matter to me because I plan to be in long after that. I'm just not ready. Even though our state has only lightened up a very little, no one is minding mask or distance guidelines and many people are behaving very badly (shooting security guards who ask them to wear a mask before entering a store, for example). I feel terribly for those who are laid off because of closed businesses, those who can't get unemployment, independent workers and I want them to be able to work. But I don't see myself going out to add to the economy anytime soon (apart from my overpriced instacart order).

    Please take care, wear your mask, wash and all those things everyone else tells us to do. The way to stay least anxious is to follow the guidelines. It's the only way we have any control.